The Act of Grief

Mourning.  According to Wesbter grief is the keen mental suffering due to a loss or distress or affliction, sharp sorrow, painful regret.  Grief is an experience you can feel deep in your chest to a point where breathing is so impossible you feel that rending your clothes wouldn't be enough.  It seems the only thing that would allow oxygen to fill your body would be cracking open your chest.  Many of us have experienced a hurt so deep the weight was crushing to a point of our decimation.  Did you allow your pain of grief to take you to your seeming destruction - ash?  Disintegration is painful and scary!  Especially if you wallow in your anguish.  There are steps to grief developed by psychologists.  Shock & Denial, Isolation, anger/pain/guilt, Bargaining, depression, acceptance & Hope and finally reconstruction.

The beginning to healing is admitting that the grief you are experiencing is real.  Anger comes with the realization that to cope with the grief is to usher in change.  When in life do we come up with the idea that living is stagnate, consistent, mundane, safe predictable.  This mindset causes us to run through the steps to grief in varying degrees frequently.  Accepting the idea that the grief we have experienced is going to change who we are to become brings a mourning all its own - depression.  To live is to grow and change. It is only there when you make the choice to give God control and trust His promises 'to never leave you , nor forsake you' (Hebrews 13:5&6), "His plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you a HOPE and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) and His gifts are good (Matthew 7:11). 

God told us to expect trouble (John 16:33) but not to lose heart because if we choose to fix our eyes on Jesus, though we are inwardly wasting away, an eternal glory is ours in Christ.  (2Corinthians 4:16-18).  King David was a man after God's own heart, who experienced all kinds of trouble but YET he chose to praise God despite his downcast soul (Psalms 42&43).  Accept this grief as part of His plan and see what comes next.

Religion

Are you religious?  What would you say? My 14 year old was asked that once prior to a third prognosis to his grim diagnosis.  He shrugged his shoulders.  I was horrified.  All the years of conversations, songs, church, AWANA, devotions and time with friends that was his only response.  I kept silent.  The doctor rephrased his questions "Do you believe in God?"  "Yes."  Wheww.  What is he thinking? I wondered.  I waited until we reached the elevator and asked him, "Daniel, why didn't you say you were religious?" "Because 'religious' means different things to different people." Hmm.

That was seven years ago.  I am just beginning to grasp all that he meant and how sensitive he was to spiritual things with his thoughtful answer.  Religion: a personal set of rules; a cause, principle, or system of beliefs that are held to with ardor and faith; commitment and devotion.  The most commonly held principle is the belief in the existence of a supernatural power or God.  I believe in God too but, am I religious?  What is my cause that I hold to with ardor and faith.  Does it encompass all of my life - being religious?  How can it not, if I am to hold to it with ardor.

Are you religious?  I think I have an answer to that question.  Of course I am 30 years older than my son but I have an answer.  Do you?  In order for complete accuracy your answer has to be your own.  Maybe mine will spurr some thoughts and introspection to develop an answer that truly represents your relationship with what you hold most dear!  My answer - Yes I am religious.  Love is what I hold to with ardor.  God is the love that I seek to attain and share.  It is what motivates my waking and sleeping.  It helps me decide how to talk or not, what vocation to have, who to spend time with and how.  Love is the source of my hope in living now and forever. Love has helped me to experience joy that surpasses all understanding amidst chaos and that is even less comprehensible.  Love brings peace in these times of waiting.  The older I get the harder it is to remember anything so my list of rules is short. Learn all there is to know about Love and in all circumstances share Love with all people.

Now it is your turn to answer.  You never know who might ask you, or why?  You should always be ready to answer.